Animagi Antics
by In To The West Away
Summary: A collection of silly stories about what kind of chaos might ensure when three teenage boys have the power to turn into animals. Warning for bad puns and my terrible attempts at humour. Kind of a companion piece to 'Those Were the Days', as I'm not quite finished with the characters yet.


**Boxing Day, 1977**

If, a year before, James Potter had been told that Lily Evans would one day be sleeping off Boxing Day lunch on his chest, he would probably have thought he was going insane. But, as it happened, this was nothing short of the truth. There they were, like the front of a beautiful Christmas card, party hats falling over their eyes and a loyal hound sprawled at their feet, curled up on the sofa in front of a dying fire as the icicles on the window sill outside dripped in the late afternoon sun. And what was worse was that she looked so adorable doing it- nose scrunching up slightly as she muttered something about Flobberworms and Professor McGonagall's biscuit tin, emerald eyes occasionally flickering into sight as she drifted in and out of the doze, and her hair, still soft though slightly wet from snow and the impromptu Butterbeer fight that had broken out over pudding, tangled in his fingers.

Normally, James would not have found this problematic in the slightest, but after half an hour, his arm was starting to feel stiff and his legs needed stretching, not to mention the fact that the strands of red hair were now starting to tickle his nose. Worst of all was the fact that he had indulged rather liberally in the Brussel sprouts over lunch and it seemed only a matter of time before this foolish excess came back to bite him in the arse. But something about his girlfriend's sleeping face prevented him from moving and his only option seemed to be fervently hoping that the rest of their group would return from their expedition to Godric's Hollow newsagents (Emmeline and Remus to satisfy their sudden intense craving for hot cocoa and Mary and Peter to chaperone them around the muggles) before it was too late.

As the carriage clock on the mantelpiece struck half past four and the small illustration of a blue dragon breathed fire behind the hands, however, James began to have a nasty feeling that he was running out of time. And, sure enough, before the long silver hand reached twenty-five to five, he had lost the battle and was left cringing as a noxious puff of Brussel sprout and Butterbeer-induced gas escaped into the air.

Due to the silence of the deed, James might have been forgiven at first for thinking he had managed to get away with it. Luck was not on his side, however, and only a few seconds later, the back door slammed, a hubbub of voices announcing the return of the four intrepid cocoa-seekers as they made their way along the corridor towards the living room. The noise shook the house as James silently mouthed filthy curses at the heavens, and Lily groaned, shifting slightly and raising a hand to rub her eyes as she sat up.

And then, to his utmost horror, she sniffed.

As his girlfriend's brow furrowed in confusion, James cast about desperately for a lifeline. Unfortunately, the fuss that he had made earlier over cleaning the Stinksap from an exploded Mimbulus Mimbletonia out of the carpet had put paid to one easy form of escape, and very quickly the situation began to look hopeless. But, as his friends drew nearer and nearer and Lily turned to stare at him curiously, the thudding of a furry tail on the carpet caught his attention and James glanced at the big, black dog sitting alertly in front of the fire, a plan flashing into his mind.

As the redhead sitting next to him opened her mouth suspiciously, he sent a silent prayer up to the gods of drama and set to work, wrinkling his nose and sending a disgusted look in the direction of the innocent beast. "Eugh, _Snuffles_."

The happy thudding of the dog's tail ceased and it turned its head toward him incredulously. Lily, meanwhile, raised an eyebrow. "Does he do that often?" She asked, looking disbelieving.

James stood up, wafting the air exaggeratedly and pinching his nose as he shook his head. "Those potions from the Menagerie were supposed to sort it out. Have you been eating Horklumps again, Snuffles?"

Snuffles gazed up at him with a distinctly miffed expression and gave a reproachful whine. Now convinced it seemed, Lily coughed and moved towards the window, gagging. "Crikey James, that really stinks. Do you think we should take him outside?"

"Good idea," Relieved, he descended on the dog and flapped his hands in the direction of the door. "Come on you smelly mutt, out! None of that in here!"

Snuffles backed away, wearing his best hangdog expression. But James Potter was not so easily cowed. "Come on! No more mince pies for you!"

As he hauled the reluctant canine into the hallway, Snuffles' claws scrabbling on the wood and the force of his tail causing the Christmas tree to rain baubles and tinsel, his four newly returned classmates were putting their coats away.

"Got a kettle anywhere, James?" Emmeline Vance piped up, unravelling several feet of scarf from her neck and legs. "It's freezing out there."

"Yeah, just give me a minute, I'm putting Snuffles outside." James dived to rescue a bottle of Firewhisky from his parents' wedding from being assaulted by the tail. Peter Pettigrew glanced round curiously. "What's he done?"

"Believe me, you'll smell it soon enough."

Snuffles gave another wounded whine and Mary MacDonald, who liked dogs and had spent most of the afternoon feeding him mince pies under the table, looked guilty. "That's probably my fault. Can I come?"

"Er sorry Mary, I really don't think you want to see this," James lowered his voice conspiratorially. "He's on a course of potions for it at the moment and, well, let's just say it gets a bit messy."

Remus Lupin beamed broadly as Snuffles fixed him with a pair of pleading amber eyes. "My nan's Crup had diarrhoea once," He said loudly, not breaking eye contact. "She'd been feeding him Honeydukes' finest though. You didn't leave any lying around did you James?"

"Don't think so, but I'll bear that in mind. He's on a diet anyway."

"Hm, it does look like he needs to cut down on some of that paunch. He must be getting on a bit now?"

"Oh yeah. Ancient, he is. And all the slobbering- can't take him anywhere," James grinned as he shoved Snuffles towards door. "Anyway, I won't be long."

"Sirius not back yet?"

"Dad said he'd send him back before six."

"Right-ho." Remus couldn't resist sending a last smirk in the direction of Snuffles, who was peering through James' legs miserably, amber eyes filled with betrayal. "Tell him he better have a good apology ready for stealing my chocolate. I don't forgive thieves easily."

"Will do!"

James breathed a sigh of relief as he shut the door behind him and leant against it. "Sorry Sirius."

"You bloody traitor," Snuffles had disappeared, and now a tall, dark-haired boy stood in front to him, looking exceptionally miffed. "What the hell, mate?"

"I had no choice! You saw Lily's face-"

"You didn't need to blame me! And I'll have you know, Padfoot is a civilised animal and doesn't slobber! I don't have diarrhoea either! And what was that Moony said about my paunch?"

"You shouldn't have stolen his chocolate then- you know he had a rough night last night," James shrugged, his teeth chattering in the cold. Dreaming of the fire indoors, he was starting to think that perhaps this hadn't been such a good idea after all. "Anyway, you're the one who wanted to have a dog day. D'you have any idea how hard it was trying to explain why you weren't here? And could you maybe keep your paws to yourself next time? That was my girlfriend you flattened! I suppose I should be glad you didn't lick _her_ too-"

"Well I couldn't exactly shake hands! And at least MacDonald made sure I was fed! Look, I've been nothing but well-behaved all day- at least _I_ didn't _fart_ in the living room," Sirius was having trouble keeping a straight face now and he soon broke down in sniggers. "Seriously mate, you need to cut down on the beans."

James swatted as his friend's arm, face purple. "Shut up, that's never happened before and you know it."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Point is, you owe me bigtime. Yes Prongs," An evil grin had spread across the other boy's face. "_Walkies._"

James groaned and glanced back through the window longingly. "Come on Sirius, it's freezing _and_ you already went out last night. And Dad'll be back soon. Lily's not staying long either."

"Should have thought of that before you blamed your stench on me. I'm thinking Pottery Loan and then maybe the woods-"

"_Not _the clay mines. Please. They'll be a mire."

"Pottery Loan it is then. Come on Miss Dainty Sparkle-hooves, we're going for a walk."

James rolled his eyes as he followed his friend to the gate in resignation. "You're pawful, you know that?"

"Well there's a lesson to be learnt here, Prongs. Don't tell shaggy dog tales- _tails,_ get it?"

"That's ruff, Padfoot." And, by the time they returned, both drenched in mud but James distinctly filthier and covered in a foul-smelling green sludge, it certainly had been.

* * *

_**Well, I did promise bad puns and my rubbish sense of humour. Still, hope it made you smile at least and don't be afraid to tell me what I need to do better :)**_


End file.
